Going through a messy divorce can take a lot out of you and your spouse but you cannot take any of your anger, frustration or resentment out on your children. Remember that the children had nothing to do with the problems that cropped up between you and your spouse and they are not the reason for your unhappy marriage. Therefore, your child or children should never bear the brunt or burden of your divorce.
Being a good parent or co-parenting after a messy divorce can be quite difficult especially if you and your partner aren’t on good terms anymore. Battles in court between divorce lawyers don’t make things easier either. However, here are a few tips on being a good parent after a messy divorce –
Tips On Being a Good Parent After a Messy Divorce
• Take out some alone and quality time – just you and your child/children – whether you spend 10 or 15 hours at your job make sure you spend at least 1-2 hours a day with your child. Ask him about school, his friends and his day. Help him with his homework or take him outside a play a bit of catch. Children don’t feel wanted or loved unless you spend actual physical time with them in person.
• Be nice to your divorced spouse in front of your child – never shout, berate or put your spouse down verbally in front of the children. Try not to raise your voice or say negative things to or about your spouse in front of your children as this will influence their behavior towards that parent too.
• Don’t tell your child how you feel – use another outlet to get your feelings out – a friend, a confidant or a counselor but never go to your child for counseling or therapy. Don’t pull your child in the middle of your problems as a child can never take sides when it comes to his or her parents.