Being a single parent isn’t easy, but it is important to hone your parenting skills. Working with your child without the shoulder of the other parent on which to lean can be quite difficult, frustrating and confusing for you and your child.
Here’s how you can improve your parenting skills while being a single parent –
1. Spend quality time with your child – never let your child feel like he or she has lost a parent even if the judge gave sole custody to one parent. if you’re the parent who didn’t get sole custody but are still entitled to supervised visitation, make sure that the time you spend with your child matters to him and you. Do something with him that he loves or enjoys and so do you–whether it’s going shopping, watching a movie or playing a game outside.
2. Don’t try to take the role of the other parent but promise to be there for your child whenever he or she needs you – the child is suddenly confused as to why he has to live with one parent separately and isn’t used to not having one parent around or to turn to when he needs them the most. Tell your child that even though you’re going to be around all the time that you’re just a phone call or a short drive away.
3. Play the dual role – if you feel like one parent didn’t a certain job better like comforting the child during emotional breakdowns or helping him with his homework, then try to develop those same qualities in you and try to play the role of the other parent, too. This will make your child feel that he can come to you at anytime for anything and not have to depend on the other parent.
Developing your parenting skills as a single parent is a tough task, but well worth it. Remember, this is about your kids.
In this article, we talk about the effects of divorce on children.
Divorce can be a stressful time for anyone–and the aftermath can be just as traumatic as children are shuffled back and forth between parents all the while missing one parent or another. Essentially, divorce tends to increase a young child’s dependence and accelerates an adolescent’s independence. Adolescents also often become aggressive toward their parents after a divorce.
Effects of Divorce on Children
For the young child, divorce shakes their trust in their parents. It can also be hard to convince a young child of the permanence of divorce. In the short term, young children can get very anxious, so it is important parents take time to answer their questions. If possible, parents should also look for opportunities to spend time together–a family celebration, for instance. Even if the time is brief, it can still leave a lasting positive impression. During this time period, it is not uncommon to see regressive behaviors from children–crying at bed times, bed-wetting, clinging, whining, tantrums, etc.
The more independent-minded adolescent tends to deal more aggressively to divorce. He/ she may get rebellious and insist on taking care of him/herself,. Adolescents tend to try and exact revenge on their parents to get pay back. For parents, it is important to try and take this increase in self-interest and redirect it toward more responsibility. Much like with a younger child, it is important for parents to focus on routines, rituals and reassurance.
The effects of divorce on children can be difficult for a parent to accept. In accepting them, though, parents acknowledge something very profound–their responsibility to their kids. In the long term, children recognize what their parents have done and will appreciate it. In the short term, it is difficult, but parents need to be consistent and stable for their children. The effects of divorce on children are very real, but can absolutely be mitigated with consistent, patient parenting.