Filing for a divorce during the holidays can add stress to the season. However, more divorce filings happen the first few days of January than any other time during the year. Many parents believe that staying together for the months of November and December are beneficial to the family unit, yet they individually behave selfishly. If you have not filed for divorce yet, use this holiday season to begin the co-parenting process early and use the next few weeks to relax and enjoy the holiday season.
How To Handle A Divorce During The Holidays
Be flexible with your holiday celebrations. Schedule your plans around your parenting agreement. For example, many people think that Thanksgiving has to be celebrated on a late Thursday in November. They fail to miss that the holiday is about celebrating with family and it does not necessarilly have to occur on one single day. By focusing on one day, versus the overall holiday tradition, parents risk putting the children in the middle. Yet, if you are flexible with a divorce during the holidays, the children may be able to celebrate the holiday multiple times.
Many families handle the holidays by splitting up each holiday. This option works if the parents live close since each parent will have the children on the specific day. However, it can make for a stressful situation since there will be transitions between parents and time restraints.
Another way some families deal with divorce during the holidays is by alternating each holiday between the parents. For example, one parent will have the children for a holiday this year, and next year the children will celebrate with the other parent.
You and your soon-to-be ex are the only two that knows what is right for your family. However, by efficiently coming up with a co-parenting holiday agreement, you are setting your family up for long-term holiday cheer instead of long-term holiday stress. Check out our website and other blog postings for more tips how to cope with divorce.
The New Hampshire Parenting Support Center’s (NHPSC) main objective is to assist families in difficult divorce transitions by providing them with a potential setting for neutral, supervised visitation. This week, we are addressing the benefits in using these impartial settings for supervised visitations for children and parents.
Typically, children are the main reason for people to use visitation centers. Most of these programs aim to provide a welcoming, fun and safe environment for the family unit. The unbiased atmosphere gives children the chance to be excited about visitations, since anxiety and potential parental confrontations are avoided. The visit becomes about maintaining the relationship, and not about the court proceedings. Seeing both parents help children to adjust positively in the divorce process, even with the family dissolution.
The parents benefit from supervised visitations also. Visitation details are typically made through agencies, so the parents do not have to have any direct contact with each other. This can be a stress reducer in a highly stressful situation. In heated divorce hearings, supervised visitations are often sought because the parents can visit with the children without worries that false allegations will be presented in the divorce proceedings. Case notes may be written and can potentially be used as character witness reports.
Using a professional third-party visitation agency, such as New Hampshire Parenting Support Center, is beneficial over using a friend or relative. Using someone you know can put strain on the relationship. It may also be hard for your ex-spouse and you to agree on the same person. A third-party agency will provide unbiased, and properly documented, support. Your lawyer may have resources for local agencies that specialize in supervised visitations. If they are court mandated, it is recommended your lawyer and potential visitation agency both review the visitation documents to make sure all needs are properly met.